Life: Is it passing you by?

Remember when you were a kid and you would fantasize about what life would be like when you grew up?

You played.

You ran.

You let your mind wander without restriction.

When I was a kid, I dreamed about living in a huge mansion on the beach and driving a convertible. I was going to go skydiving and bungee jumping and see the world. I wanted to be an astronaut, a veterinarian, and a published author simultaneously.

When I was in 1st grade, I decided I would become a Scuba diver one day. There was a large blue poster on the wall in our classroom that featured all of the underwater creatures of the sea like whales and octopus. I didn’t want to settle for only seeing photos of them on a wall, I wanted to experience them in real life.

IMG_6620I couldn’t wait to wake up on Saturday to watch cartoons because I loved immersing myself in the story. It helped me sort through the details of my own life somehow.

I would lock myself in my room and tirelessly draw pictures of anything that popped into my mind. I would erase and redraw the nose of a character 6 times until it was perfect. I never watched the clock.

I’d crank my music up and put on lip syncing shows in front of the mirror when no one was home. I’d learn every lyric to my favorite song and sing it over and over as loud as I could.

One time I pitched a tent in my bedroom and moved everything inside of it, including my mattresses and clock radio. My mom was pissed and kind of creeped out, but I thought it was the greatest thing ever.

I plastered every inch of my walls with photos from magazines and fantasized about what life would be like to be a famous musician like the ones on my walls.

I talked on the phone with my friends for hours about nothing. But it was everything to me.

I cried freely. I would look at myself in the mirror. As soon as I got upset about something worth bawling about I would run to the bathroom and watch myself unravel. Ugly, twisted mouth, wet face, red eyes and furrowed brow staring back at me like a pissed off newborn baby. I would become mesmerized by my own miserable reflection. After a few minutes I’d wipe my tears and go back to my room, basking in the relief of cathartic release.

I didn’t consider time passing. I didn’t care about it.

In fact, most days seemed to drag on. Life felt like it would last an eternity and I figured I would have all the time in the world to build my mansion on the beach and learn to Scuba dive. I only focused on the fun aspects of life back then like most kids do, I assume. I didn’t worry myself with the logistics of what it entailed to achieve my dreams.

For the last 10 years I’ve really noticed the swiftness of time passing. Some nights when I’m getting ready for bed I feel like I just got up to start the day. I can’t believe how fast the day slips away.

I used to have the mindset that all that mattered was money and my material shit. I didn’t understand or appreciate the value of time.

Now, I only focus on time.

I value it more than I value money. I won’t spend my time with people who drain my energy and waste my time. I’ll pay more for something if it saves me time to do so, and I’ll say “no” to things I don’t want to do. I’m always considering time now, everyday. I guard it.

Everyday that goes by is another day closer to the end of my life.

Our culture struggles with the concept of death, and I’ve found that it’s difficult for people to talk about it. They want to deny that it will happen, so they remain terrified of it. I made peace with death many years ago and when I did, I vowed to spend my time in ways that make me happy.

That’s my rule.

I started my business so I could control my time instead of some asshole controlling it for me. I wanted my wife to join my business so we could spend more time together. I wanted my mom to quit the corporate job she despised so she could travel and spend as much time with her grandkids as she wants.

Time is passing right now as you’re sitting here reading this.

Are you happy?

Could things be better?

What areas of your life do you feel you need to improve?

What the fuck are you doing about it?

Do you make excuses for WHY you can’t make a change?

Stop doing that. Seriously. Instead of finding obstacles to set up in your own way, find ways to knock them down and get moving in the direction you really want to go.

What excites you today like the things that used to excite you as a child?

Ponder some of that for awhile, and make a plan. Then get to work.

Time is passing. What are you going to do with it?

 

 

 

 

 

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